Greetings Friends of The Grymoire!
Well, Autumn has well and truly swept his russet cape over the cracked tiles and weed choked gutters of the Grymoire Observatory. Stark red stalks of cornus glow in the chilly, lambent, late afternoon sunshine as Mr Chives grumbles and coughs his damp, tubercular way around the decaying herbaceous borders with rusty secatuers, wincing at his arthritic knuckles and whistling tunelessly. Fat, patient spiders dangle like predatory fruit from their sparkling, pendulous webs and scuttle gleefully after hapless midges and dead drunk wasps; all is mouldy, drooping, sodden and bent amid a riot of reds, browns, yellows and wreaths of bonfire smoke.
Meanwhile, deep in the bowels of the Grymoire Observatory, the ancient rhythms of that crumbling pile continue uninterrupted by the turning of the year. The Tea Trolley of Occult Significance continues to trundle on its inscrutable hajj along the dark, oak wainscotted passages - Philip the Homunculus lovingly blows the last of the wood shavings from his home made pipe rack and Messrs Shillaker and Scott put the finishing touches to their latest wax cylinder of popular beat classics.
And in the cool cellar, surrounded by dusty rows of pointless bottled quince and yellowing back-copies of Amateur Satanism, the housekeeper Mrs O'Flaherty distractedly cranks with a beefy Irish forearm and inky fingers, the handle of an ancient clattering Gestetner duplicator. She pauses, glancing upwards through narrowed eyes as the unmistakable sounds of sorcery, organ grinding and Osiris worship disturb her ill tempered reverie for the hundredth time that morning and then looks down at the freshly minted stack of parchment flyers that is the fruit of her morning's labour. Taking one from the top she reads aloud:
A (SLIGHTLY ODD) EVENING WITH THE GRYMOIRE
at the Headgate Theatre, Colchester
Saturday 29/01/11 - 8pm
Tickets: £7 or £6 concs
Messrs Shillaker and Scott invite you to join them at Colchester prestigious Headgate Theatre for their yearly jamboree and an evening of splendid jiggery-pokery!
attractions include:
Grymoire Bingo, The Pants of Doom, the Tea Trolley of Occult Significance and The Mademe-cum-Nearly Horn Dance!
GASP! At the terrible tale of Meredith Hardy and the Alderman! LEARN about the nesting habits of the delightful ptarmigan! SEE what happens when Adam forgets to have a proper tea before getting to the performance! GROAN at the infuriating self justification of alcoholic car salesman Terry Shears!
Warning: Light refreshments may be fired into the audience at low to medium velocities.
In Short - A Capital Evening is Assured!
……daft buggers, mutters Mrs O.
